Unavoidable Eccentricities of Behaviour
by lyddie1231
Summary: Thor and Loki exploring Asgard and their tumultuous relationship, this work is loosely based off parts of Norse Myth and the comic books - it's kind of the classic Loki and Thor in Asgard. Both young men are extremely volatile and bad-tempered. Lots of parties, fights, sweet moments and everything else in between.
1. Chapter 1: In Which Loki Appears

Some have called me a god of fire; others have called me a type of Lucifer, a classical trickster figure. Even a spider. I am Loki Laufeyson, brother of Thor, father to a wolf, mother to an eight-legged horse, and the true god of mischief. It all began when Lady Fortune decided to turn her wheel…

My father, Odin, often held war councils to plan and strategise assaults on other realms - these often turned into drunken reveries and parties for all my father's friends, concubines and supporters. Most of the time their graces did not extend to inviting me, but I enjoy appearing uninvited.

The celebrations had already begun when I had entered through one of the side archways. Father Odin and Mother Frigg had long disappeared, leaving his children and their respective friends to drink long into the night. Similar to the Macedonians of old, drinking vast quantities of ale and behaving like wild animals are something Asgardians favour highly. My brother, poorly versed in the all-language that all Asgardians are supposed to know so well, and equally poorly read could drink and eat just about anyone under the table.

"Brother! Come and sit, by me, and, drink with me," Thor said, slurring his words a little. I sat beside him wordlessly. Warmth and sweat were radiating from his body, he smelt like stale beer, star, sweat and pine. Though my brother could be considered one of the greatest idiots known to any history, his warmth radiated from his heart, and his whole being emulated honestly. I had always been jealous of this characteristic, I am not one who can inspire others to be honest nor have trust in me. On the other hand, I'm rather convincing when the needs calls.

I was pulled to Thor's side, and he was whispering thoughts as they came to him, so they were not entirely connected.

"Is Sif not, look at her hair Loki - she's the girl that I want to w- she's beautiful isn't she," he said.

"She does look particularly fertile this evening," I agreed. Thor laughed heartily, so heartily he nearly fell off his chair. Sif, the golden-haired goddess, the ultimate woman of fertility, family, wedlock, marriage, and all those other chains of matrimony. The great woman warrior with hair like flaxen wheat and breasts full of mother's milk that would sag at the first sign of age. She would look uglier than a bull if I shaved her head - ha. That's not a bad idea…though I am more inclined to weave schemes like webs, some childish pranks of my own creation can be particularly scathing.

"More music!" Thor announced, clapping his hands and attempting to stand up. He did quite well, until he looked down.

"Nothing is enough for you Thor, you always want more, more ale, more music, more food, more women," Baldr said, lighting a cigar. I was quite surprised by this comment, Baldr was right. Bold; brave Baldr, lord of all men, the white, and the good, and the lightness of the day, the son any father would want. I hated him, everything that he was, everything that he had been and everything he ever would be. Faultless goodness is dangerous - and my brother considered him a friend.

"Speaking of women, why don't you join the dancers, Sif?" My question did not go down well with the blonde-haired maiden.

"I am a warrior, not an object to be fondled and jeered at!" She stood up abruptly and approached Thor.

"Why won't you dance, Sif? Is the music not pleasing to you? I will dance with you, come and dance with me," he said, as she pulled him away from the table.

"Do you not see Thor, are you eyes so hazed that your own brother has fooled you? He is trying to drive a wedge between us; I can feel it in my bones. Come back to my quarters with me now, you have drunk too much," she said standing closer to him.

"The party has barely started, my brother has only just arrived and he has done nothing but sit by me and be good company, my parents have left it is my responsibility as Thor, Odin son to carry this through. If these dignitaries do not have a good time they will refuse to become allies with my father, I have to make him proud first and foremost. I have to stay."

Quite a fitting speech from my brother I must say, and its result was entirely what I had expected. Sif left, knowing full well by her woman's intuition my plans for gradual destruction of their relationship and others, but lacking the fitting words to turn brother against brother. I had expected more from her, but then again, the night was not over. Thor sat himself down beside me again, and I joined him in a toast. Thor was one of the only Asgardians who would ever offer me a drink. Rarely was a place set for me. I looked around the room as I drank my ale. I wanted to seek out every sin in this room and set it alight. The seven sins would be sought and uncovered one by one, or all together, by the end of the night.

With the taste of yeast on my lips, I was feeling somewhat inspired. I turned my eyes towards my brother and wiped away some foam from the corner of his mouth with my thumb.

"If Sif refuses to dance, then I will," I said. I stood up and transformed my shape, my body shifted into that of a woman. A beautiful woman, no less. I considered this side of my self to be a great strength, for isn't the greatest fury of hell a woman scorned? And am I not one of those women? A goddess, with enough power and prowess to control the room with a swing of my hips, and an arch of an eyebrow.

I danced, at first with the concubines and other women, using their hysterical and frantic energy. I stepped onto the table of the great Odin and Frigg, stalking across it and surveying my kingdom as I went. Drunkards, prostitutes, drug-addled minds, exhibitionists, jades, frauds, gamblers, pock-marked eager teenagers, alcoholics, sodomites, fetishists and fighters all champions of the night sluggishly moving along in this heated room. I would rule them all, stringing out their flaws and secrets and lies one by one. Or all at once. Though all these people had titles of gods and warriors and great lords they were nothing more a sea of weakened faces, going on a fruitless crusade. I danced for them all.

There was one being who, though flawed, still had enough goodness in him, would rise above this sea of wretchedness. Not now, though, Thor was too drunk. I stepped down from my dancing; leaving the partygoers to slither amongst each other until the headaches kicked in and they fell into stupors. Needing more strength, I was once again male, carrying my brother out of the dining hall and across to a quieter room. I laid him down on a couch. His easy mind allowed him to sleep almost instantly, and I was jealous of his ability to silence his mind so rapidly and sleep so peacefully. In Asgard, it is not necessarily custom to sleep in a bed; many people sleep anywhere, on couches, chairs and other pieces of furniture. A bed is generally used for things like…sex.

After leaving Thor to sleep off his stupor, I walked into the path of Sif. Though we said nothing, her eye contact was enough to demonstrate how she felt towards me. My eyes betrayed nothing, though my action the next day would allow her to see how I felt about her too.

When she had fallen asleep, I returned to her room, with a comb in my hand. This comb allowed for soldiers to shave on the battlefield, it was light enough to carry and did not need water. A smirk crept up into the corner of my mouth. I stood in her dark doorway, feeling like a wolf, I approached her as she slept. The blood pounded in my ears, but I, too kept my breathing steady. I leaned over her, and began to slice away at her golden tresses. Soon she would know what it would feel like to be ugly. To not recognise yourself in the mirror. I felt, as I was cutting away at her hair, that I was taking away parts of her pride and her arrogance. My fingers and ears tingled. It felt so good to be bad. I had, just hours before, only intended to put my brother to bed, if I had not run into Sif, she would not have reminded me of my plans. Most of my mischief is not planned, but just as malicious. I knew this would mean war between us, but I did not care. It was only the beginning for me. I stopped when there was nothing left - I thought about shaving her eyebrows too but she turned before I had the opportunity.

Blood tingling away in my veins, suppressing the need to laugh, I left as secretly as I had come.

When I walked into the dining hall the next morning, Thor's rage was pouring out of him. And he was taking it out on the furniture. "That cunning, evil, wicked— he stopped mid-sentence when he had seen that I had entered. He made his feelings known to me quite clearly.

"I REFUSE TO CALL YOU MY BROTHER ANYMORE. I AM ASHAMED OF YOU. WHAT A WEAK-MINDED PERSON YOU ARE. YOU WILL APOLOGISE TO SIF, AND YOU WILL MAKE HER A WIG DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME OR I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN. YOU HAVE ANGERED ME ONCE, LOKI. ANGER ME ONCE MORE AND YOU WILL FEEL MY POWER."

"I refuse to apologise," I said coldly. It was true; I did not regret shaving Sif's head. "And you can call me many things, but weak-minded is not one of them! Out of the both of us I am the better brother but purely because I am different, because I am dark I am an outcast in my own family. Go on, go and make your father proud and drink yourself to death!" I was turning to go when Thor addressed me once more.

"I will no longer speak to you brother, I hope you know what you've done."

"No one acknowledges me anyway, no one ever sets me a place at the table, I am never invited, rarely does anyone use my name, and it will be a pleasure to leave you."

Sitting atop one of the towers of Asgard, I felt the heat of the sun on my back. I heard many more noises and pleas as Thor continued to destroy the family home. Flipped tables, overturned vases, holes in the ceilings. He was always remorseful after the fact but during those outbursts, his eyes were white with rage and not many were game to calm him. Arguments like that happened every day between my brother and I, we were purely so different but so similar, and with equally bad tempers. I still did not regret shaving Sif's head, but a small part of me did acknowledge that I had hurt what was precious to Thor. I was angry because it was she who was most precious to him. My brother in an argument would never defend me. I would always be left to stand on my own two feet, with my father picking his favourite son, and my mother occasionally smiling at me in pity. Pity, of all emotions it is the most irritating, but according to most one of the only emotions I deserved. It was in this manner, on one of the towers of Asgard, where I wallowed in my wrath for many hours.

The sun had risen high in the sky and lowered itself again before I approached my brother, who was sitting on the grass, facing a courtyard. It seemed he was looking at a tree that we climbed as children.

"My position has slightly altered," I began. "I will not apologise, but I will make Sif a wig as a compromise. Not for her." Only for you.

"My comments were out of line, brother. My blood was heated to boiling point, like a volcanic eruption. Please forgive me for being such an ass, and saying such hateful things towards you," he said, his voice quieting. We looked at each other, for quite some time, in silence. He seemed troubled, his eyes, usually laughing, were bright with wounds.

"I forgive you. I'm surprised we didn't come to blows. We usually do," I said. "You know how I am more than anyone, Thor. I am addicted to causing disruption, the adrenalin makes me feel so powerful, I am compelled to act this way - I cannot curb my desire to do so. Even if it was to hurt someone you love."

"I forgive you," he said as he put an arm around my shoulder. His outburst before had led him to sweating, so he smelled like an ox.

"I just don't want to end up hurting you, brother," I said, surprised by the tone of my own voice. He went silent for a long time and wouldn't look at me. He appeared to be thinking.

"You will, but I'll always forgive you," he turned his chin towards the setting sun. "Let's chase it, like we did when we were boys, shall we?"


	2. Chapter 2: In Which Our Heroes Bond

Chapter Two: In Which Our Heroes Go Shopping for Wives

It was a few days since I had shaved Sif's head, and also made her a wig in the process. Since then, I have not given her a second thought. Still, thoughts crowded my mind that night and I found myself unable to sleep. I rose and wandered the halls of Asgard, until I was outside, gazing at the stars. It could have been a few minutes, or an hour, but I heard a familiar heavy footfall coming from behind me.

"Nice night to be out," Thor's thick voice broke the silence.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I asked. As children, Thor and I had often experienced this exact occurrence. Both of us have become sleepless on the same night, at the same time, even though for most of our youth we have had separate rooms.

"No, some fortunate Asgardian is procreating with some siren or other," he replied, exhaling loudly. I held up my hand to silence Thor from saying anymore. After a few moments, cries of pleasure became pleasurable in the quietness. In the daytime, I would not have heard it, but the stillness of the night carried the sound well. I laughed louder than I should have. We stood together amicably.

"I can hear the river, would you accompany me fishing, brother?" Thor turned his face towards me. The offer was tempting. Out of the few activities we did together, fishing was one where I excelled. Thor simply didn't have the patience, or the ability to quiet himself and stop fidgeting. The night was peaceful, and his usual overenthusiastic, bawdy friends didn't surround Thor.

"I will fish with you, brother," I accepted.

I should say something briefly before we continue with my story. My relationship with Thor is a complex one; we've been together for almost our entire lives. When we were very young, we began to call each other brother. We knew who we were. We had a bond that could not be broken. Our names were irrelevant, because names can change through marriage or inheritance. But, to me, Thor will always be, brother. I think I answer to 'brother' more than to 'Loki.' Names mean nothing. Our bond is unbreakable. I know when my brother is truly mad at me, when he calls me by my name. The same goes for him - though I do refer to him as Thor. I wanted to show you the next few hours of my life, not because they're necessarily important to my story, but because it was one of the few times in my life when I was at peace.

We were soon standing by the river, with Thor crunching leaves and snapping sticks with his heavy steps behind me. I waded into the river, till it reached my thighs and stood for a moment, allowing my body to adjust to the temperature of the water. Thor laughed.

"Why are you wading so deep into the river, do you wish to become a fish? I will catch and eat you if that is the case," he said.

"I am wading so deep into the river because it allows me to be a better fisherman. I am a part of the river, as you see, and if I stand silently, the fish will trust me and follow me." Our lantern went out, and Thor wanted to light it again but I told him not to. I preferred the darkness. My brother had now become merely a shape, a mass, but I could feel the heat of his eyes on me, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"Baldr can catch fish with his bare hands," Thor said, in a conversational tone.

"And where does he stand when he catches said fish with his bare hands?" I asked.

"In the river," he said nonchalantly. After a minute, he realised my implication and came to stand by my in the river. I watched him stiffen as he walked into the water, adjusting to its temperature.

"Remind me not to walk any deeper," he said quietly, as though his voice was caught in his chest.

"Why?" I knew what he was referring to.

"Otherwise my balls will go inside my body and I'll never see them again," he chuckled.

"You're far too masculine, a little water might do you good," I suggested. I could feel his eyes glaring into me, but I stood firm. Thor was always a little touchy when it came to someone talking about his masculinity.

"It's your birthday in a few weeks, what do you want for your birthday?" Birthdays were tricky for my brother and I in Asgard. Asgardians are big about giving gifts, more extravagant each time, war trophies, countries, continents, so birthdays are just an excuse to outdo each other. My brother and I decided when we were teenagers that smaller, simpler gifts were more appreciated. Even with his love for parties and feasts and gatherings, I think my brother enjoys not having so much pressure put on him for a moment.

"Lots of women?" He suggested, smirking.

"Oh, that's too easy," I said, laughing a little. He shrugged.

"Can I not have a birthday?" That question surprised me. I said nothing.

"I'm sick of having to show up to parties and be the centre of attention. I wish I could melt into the background like you can, brother."

"I'm obviously not very good if you notice me," I said.

"Oh I always notice you," he said. "Your energy is different to everyone else's, it's very easy to…feel it."

"Father will want you to pick a wife so that you can announce an engagement on your birthday," I added.

"Yes, I know. I have no idea who would make a good companion. I need someone who knows about the pressure of ruling near Odin, who will bear good children…" I could feel that something had changed in his voice.

"I don't want to be ruler of Asgard, Loki. I'm scared I'll make the wrong choice."

I felt the fish move past my feet - they had habituated to me and it wouldn't be long until we would catch fish. "Even the finest marble can crack, brother," I said quietly. "Besides, I thought it was always going to be Sif."

"I hope it will be, I hope she would be my wife."

"She will be brother, it is difficult to say no to someone like you."

Thor's fishing rod began to twitch in his hands. "Don't move," I said, putting my rod to one side. "He's only biting, he hasn't got the hook yet. You'll have to move fast when he's caught."

Thor looked at me, and I took the rod from him carefully, adding his hands to the rod too. The fish began to thrash its weight in the water.

"Pull him up carefully, he's big and he could break the line," I realised my brother and I were breathing at the same rate.

"You hold the line, I'll catch him with my bare hands!" This was typical Thor behaviour, showing off even when there was no one around to see him. Thor bent down and grabbed at the fish, as it jumped and wriggled through his fingers. He could be such a child. It slipped free from his grip, but landed in the mud. It thrashed and threw itself around, its shiny scales becoming blackened with mud. When it was still, I went over to take the hook out, and felt the glinting sharpness of the curve hit my thumb. I was bleeding.

Thor pressed the hook into his thumb, until he was bleeding too. He had done something similar when we were children. I had tripped and fallen, and he fell to the ground too, and then helped me up. He took my thumb and rubbed it with his own.

"Now we are blood bothers."

"But we already are brothers," I said, putting my thumb in my mouth and staunching the blood with my tongue.

"Blood brothers are different," he picked up the fish and we walked through the brush till we entered a field. He started a fire, and I gutted the fish. We ate the fish and collapsed in the field, talking and dreaming together as the haze of the day began to set in. We walked back to Asgard together in the brightness of a new morning, to be told we were to split up and go into separate rooms. It wasn't very nice to be separated from my brother after all this time of being together. It was time for my brother to choose a wife. I was to wait, undoubtedly so I did not have a negative influence on my brother - that was something that my father had always assumed. No doubt the women were not allowed to talk, addressed him only as my lord, which would make Thor feel very uncomfortable.

If I were to choose a wife, not that I would necessarily be allowed that privilege, I would need someone bold. I inspected the cut on my thumb - it was hardly even a pinprick now but it still stung. Barely even half an hour had passed, before my brother burst through the doors, looking around him frantically.

"There you are brother, I am sick of this ritual. Get me out of here," he said. I stood up, put my arm around him and calmly walked back to where he was. As I walked, I looked into the eyes of one of the servants who were keeping watch on Thor. He was terrified of me. Good.

"Oh, ladies, thank-you so much for your time but really, we must be going. We are continuing our search for my brother's wife elsewhere, thank-you, thank-you." All of the women looked incredibly put out. No doubt they would have to return to their mansions or huts or farms in the corner of Asgard and think of something to tell their parents. The charming tone of my voice, however, allowed me to remain unchallenged.

"Now what will I do?" Thor asked. "Father needs me to pick a bride."

"We will do exactly as I said we would do - continue our search elsewhere," I paused. "In the streets and the taverns of Asgard. For do you not need a woman who is as worldly as you brother, and do you not need someone who can at least keep up with your extensive drinking habits?"

I saw his eyes light up. I had him. So, at approximately 8 in the morning, my brother and I set out for the dusty streets of Asgard. Rarely did we ever walk down the front palace steps out into the town, especially on foot. The day was just beginning to be hot; the ground was not paved with the cool mosaic tiles of my father's domain.

"Let's find ourselves a tavern, and we shall take the town corner by corner," I announced. Thor followed me down alleyways, and through a market, to a tavern. We sat down at the bar and ordered a jug of ale. The woman serving us, who was broad and strong like a wolf, was obviously suspicious of strangers. Even if they were the princes of Asgard. "What are two young men like yourselves doing in a tavern so early in the morning?"

"We are looking for a wife, for my brother, my good woman," I began. "Do you have any idea where we might begin our search?" Of course, I knew where we would go, and I knew where she would suggest, but Thor was being entertained by this game we were playing.

"Ah, after women are you? Head on over to the eastern quarter, and when you get to the gates of the city, go immediately right and ask for Tomas."

My brother finished his ale, and I, though my head a little heavy from lack of sleep, finished mine. We paid the woman and did as she bade us. We walked into the bar, and I summoned the barkeep.

"What would you recommend for us to drink?" I asked, knowing full well his reply.

"Since you are princes, I would suggest a Green Prince," said the barkeep. He passed drink after drink towards us. Roses Run Red, Green Princes, ale, their finest wine, Free Dice. My brother knew what none of them were, but we ordered and drank them all. My head was starting to spin - I had to keep it together.

"I was wondering, if Tomas might be able to help us?" I queried. My brother let out a giggle. The barkeep pointed to a staircase leading downwards, and we descended into a basement. We were then met with more sounds than sights, but still I will describe the scene. Curtains were everywhere, with each little booth really only being the length of a bed. The women who were free stood outside their curtains, waiting listlessly or smiling, smoking and sighing. It was darker than I thought it would be, and the smell of sex and sweat was strong. When my brother chose a girl, I paid her, with a mind to choose a girl of my own. Except, there wasn't enough money for two girls.

"I don't have enough money for two girls," I said to Thor. "I'll go back upstairs and have some more wine, you take this and come up." Thor refused to accept this. He reached into his pocket. He talked to the girl for a moment and then turned back to me.

"You and I have enough together, for the same girl, but for two hours, I'll take the first hour and you take the second." Normally, one of us would have at least said no to this outlandish behaviour. But me being the god of mischief, how could I refuse? I set my eyes on the girl and looked at her. Her body looked supple and her eyes looked unsurprised. Her quietness impressed me; I knew she would not tell others of her relations with my brother or I.

I opened the curtain. "Ladies first," I said. The woman, whose name I later learnt was Irmina, had been a troubadour dancer and had travelled to Asgard to enjoy its wealth. She closed the curtain and the bed creaked as the bodies fell on it. I stood close by, enjoying the last of my wine. I heard their moans and cries, and the bed slamming against the wall. I sat down and crossed my legs, laughing softly. I closed my eyes.

Thor appeared an hour later, saying that he was drunk and he needed to sleep it off. I agreed with him and helped him up the stairs, out onto the street. My palms were moist from a thin film of sweat on his back. He summoned his little hammer to take him home, and I watched him from the doorway of the tavern. I went back downstairs, and found Irmina, smoking. We shared a cigarette and then slipped behind the curtain. She lay back on the bed and played with her hair, plaiting it absent-mindedly.

"Your brother is very…robust, he will make good children," she said. Her body still had a touch of warmth to it as I slid myself inside her Venus mound, if you will.

"I'm more of the black sheep of the family," I said, and watched the corners of her mouth turn up in a smile. After my hour was finished, we smoked another cigarette. Both of us were perspiring and sticking to the sheets.

"I wonder if you could escort me to the tea house," she said. "It is not far from here, but many men know me around these parts and I want to go on a break."

I would have said no, but I could be a woman, and understood the power of a man's gaze. Even when friendly, it could still make one uncomfortable.

"Do you have someone who can walk you back?" I asked, neatening my clothes.

"Yes, I am meeting a friend there, she will walk me back."

We quit the tavern through a back entrance and crossed a bridge, went through another market and came to the teahouse. She offered me a seat, and I accepted. She ordered some tea, and I accepted a mug. She told me about herself, how her family had thrown her out because of her wild ways and her overt sexuality. Her hair was curly, and dark brown and her eyes were still steady. I quickly realised this would not be the kind person I would trick or deceive, she would be a good ally. Someone to have on the street, a quiet, steady person with far-reaching hands and eyes. Her friend never showed, but we sat drinking tea in silence. When her break was finished, she told me her name and I walked her back to the tavern.

The walk back to Asgard seemed long, I was probably drunk, and needed to go home. I found my room and collapsed on the bed, praying for darkness to take me to dreams. My brother had collapsed beside me on the bed; I don't think even he would know why if I were to ask him. I didn't fall asleep, but I dreamt.


End file.
